


Feel what it's like to be new

by callili



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M, PWP, and then quickly turns smutty, starts as sort of a character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callili/pseuds/callili
Summary: Steve muses about his past and his bedfellow. Then said bedfellow wakes up.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Feel what it's like to be new

Raindrops pour steadily against the window, rivulets streaming down the glass planes. It should be lulling him to sleep, yet he is wide awake, lying in his bed and staring out into the night. Steve watches the rivers calmly, a serenity filling him he hasn't felt in literal ages. His breath is even and quiet, his chest lifting smoothly. He isn't disturbing his sleeping cohabitant, who is currently sprawled artlessly across the wide planes of Steve's upper body, head seemingly comfortably nestled against Steve's shoulder. He can feel the steady puffs of warm air against his collarbone. Steve lifts his arm and gently lets his hand stroke the warm body, just letting himself feel the soft skin.

The room is dark, no source of light lit inside. The only illumination is far beneath his room. Diffused light coming from endless small pockets of human habitation. Steve knows the city, just like himself, rarely sleeps. He hasn't felt the need that much after the serum. Incredibly useful in combat situations it makes him prone to introspection in the deep of the night.

He can't believe how lucky he is after all. He certainly hasn't felt that way when he woke up to this new world, everything changed but himself. Incredibly lonely in spite of the masses of people everywhere. He has felt so disconnected to everything at first. He tried, of course he tried, it was what he did after all, didn't he? Never give up, time after time, keep on fighting, always. One notable exception on that plane... He tightens his arm around his sleeping partner, pulling him farther against his chest, refusing to let himself think about that horrible part of his life. It is all in the past. It is over and he will never let that happen again. He shudders and forces himself to think about something else. 

The future has been incredibly confusing at first but he surprised himself with how quickly he adapted to all these new electronic gadgets, the new ways the world was run, the new freedom of choice, which isn't all that all-encompassing as it seems to be. The world hasn't changed all that much after all. But he has been lonely. Steve is, despite everything, despite the serum, not one to quickly form new friendships. Oh, he can work with colleagues and be very efficient, no doubt, but friends? Bucky has been there his whole life, filling that specific need very well. He hasn't needed anybody else. And after he fell down that ravine, hand stretched out towards Steve, his name on his lips, as he was falling... Steve shudders again and grips the sleeping form even more tightly, making them grunt sleepily, shifting against him. Forcing himself to relax his grip, Steve smiles grimly to himself. _Not thinking about it anymore_ didn't work that well, it seems. He releases a breath he hasn't realized he has been holding. He starts caressing the body pressed tightly against his side gently, long strokes down the warm back. He doesn't want to disturb his sleep. God knew he needs it. 

Steve turns his head slightly down to observe his sleeping partner, committing the new lines on the familiar face to memory. Steve hasn't had that much time to miss Bucky directly after his fall, he made sure of that, fighting and then flying that fateful plane to the ground. But after waking up in this new world he has felt the missing piece of him acutely. Two years he has dragged himself through the future, lonely, though he managed to form new bonds after a time, to his colleagues, even feeling loyalty to this new America, trying to keep it safe and protect it. And then, out of nowhere he saw that face again, the one that visited his dreams so often, the one he never dared to hope to see ever again. Bucky's face, but it was devoid of recognition, of _life_ even. The dead eyes broke his heart all over again. He can even feel the phantom fingers again, crushing his windpipe, can't get enough air in his lungs...

He only notices how much he is crushing his bed partner when he hears a sleepy grumble. „You tryin' to kill me, Stevie?“ Bucky blinks his eyes open, trying to get rid of the sleep in them, before a mighty yawn wrecks his body. Then he looks more closely at Steve's face. „Hey, you ok?“.

Steve tightens his arms again, turning to his side and burying his face in Bucky's neck, breathing deeply, trying to control his shivering limbs. „I am now.“

He feels Bucky's arms tighten around himself, the metal of his left one cooler on his flesh, though not unpleasant and equally gentle in its hold. He exhales shakily, murmuring against the comforting skin, „Sorry I woke you.“

„Idiot,“ comes the soft reply. Bucky's mouth is moving against his shoulder, lips turning up into a smile he can't see but knows would be soft and fond. „You know you're supposed to wake me when you need me.“ 

Steve laughs shakily. „I always need you. You willing to never sleep again?“

„I know better things than sleeping.“ The reply sounds smug and Steve freezes, his skin flaming up in awareness. Bucky shifts against him, not yet purposeful, just feeling skin on skin. Steve sighs happily. It feels so good to simply hold Bucky in his arms. Touch his living body, hear his small laugh, smell his scent, _feel_ him. He never thought he would have this again. It is damn near perfect. And >em>then Bucky's touches turn purposeful. 

Bucky's grip on his shoulders tightens, shifting him on his back. Bucky rolls with it so he is lying on top of him. Now Steve can see his smirk, which is completely like the man from Brooklyn he knew, all cocky attitude. So different from the cold lifeless mask that was first turned toward him after his long sleep, not even a frown.…

„Hey, stay with me.“ Steve blinks a few times, the memories dissolving like fog. Bucky is sitting on his lap, strong thighs gripping his hips, wriggling a few times which has the desired effect of keeping him in the now. Steve strokes along Bucky's legs, starting at his knees and slowly moving upwards. He turns on a lazy smile. „All yours.“

„I hope so.“ Bucky's hands come up to roam over Steve's chest, one warm and one not quite cool. He is leaning forward, his lips catching Steve's mouth in a tender kiss. Until Steve feels one finger catching his nipple, rolling the hardening nub between thumb and forefinger. Steve gasps into the kiss, arching his chest towards his lover, almost lifting up from the bed. Bucky takes the chance to sweep his tongue inside, thrusting deep, stealing Steve's breath the way he knows he likes.

Steve's hands come up and grips Bucky's ass, slowly grinding up against him. He stretches his neck to keep the kiss from breaking while he moves Bucky forward. He feels his breathless grin against his lips. Bucky keeps on licking into him, his tongue playful and chasing Steve's, his hips rolling with Steve's movements, happy sounds escaping his open mouth.

Steve feels himself hardening fully in his pajama bottoms. Each flick of Bucky's thumb over his nipples shoots straight to his cock. He groans, pressing Bucky's hips against himself, rubbing against the answering hardness he feels there. He nips at Bucky's mouth, catching his lip between his teeth before murmuring throatily „Want you.“

„Figured as much.“ Bucky's grin threatens to split his face in two as he wriggles against Steve, making them both groan. 

„Come on old man, let's get you out of these.“ He slips off of Steve's hips, down towards the end of the bed, hooking his fingers in Steve's pajama bottoms and taking them with him, freeing Steve's cock from its confinement, which happily bounces free. Then he crawls back between his legs, throwing the garment carelessly behind him, not caring where it lands. His eyes are on Steve's cock and he is licking his lips. His eyes flicks up to Steve's face and his grin turns challenging.   
„Show me how much you want me. Touch yourself.”

Steve feels himself flush at the words. Though he enjoys teasing Bucky immensely it is still all too easy so remember how scrawny and skinny he had been, how unattractive. Then again Bucky has wanted him even then. He reaches toward himself, gripping himself firmly. He starts stroking himself in slow even pulls, basking in the way Bucky's pupils dilate at the sight. It feels so good and Bucky's eyes on him make him feel so hot he hasn't even realized Bucky's hand has moved until he feels his fingers on his thigh, sliding on the sensitive inner side towards his balls and oh-

Steve's eyes shoot wide and his movement speeds up and though he desperately tries to contain the embarrassing noises he makes, knows he failed when he hears Bucky's breathless praises.

„Yeah, that's it, Stevie, show me, so good, god, you're beautiful like this, yes, come on...“ Then Bucky's fingers are spit-wet and stroking behind his balls, further up, and his voice is further urging him on and – oh god - it feels so good and Steve... Steve is coming, feeling the hot spurts on his hand. His heart is racing and he can barely catch his breath, gulping in air. He dimly feels Bucky withdrawing his finger and stroking his thighs. When Steve opens his eyes again, Bucky is smiling at him, a warmth radiating from him Steve swears he can feel on his skin. He is feeling warm all over. He flexes his wrist, sighs and relaxes. With the hand that isn't currently smeared in his release he beckons Bucky forward, while cleaning the other on the sheets. Bucky crawls over him, kneeling over him, just leaning forward enough so he can kiss him. The kiss starts lazy enough but soon the movement of Bucky's tongue is turning rhythmic, all but fucking into Steve's mouth. A small whimper is caught in his throat when Steve's hand grips him through his boxers, stroking the hot length firmly, trying to give him a little relief. Bucky's hips matches his tongue, though his coordination is a little off. 

„Stevie, can I...?“ Bucky keeps on licking Steve's lips and all around his mouth, little teasing flicks of his tongue and Steve swears he can almost _taste_ his desperation. He doesn't need to think hard about his answer. He loves this. „Yeah.“ 

Bucky doesn’t waste any more time, kisses him one last time, brief but firmly, then grasps Steve's shoulder, pulling firmly and trying to roll him over with one hand. Steve laughs and turns around, adjusting himself so he will lie comfortable if his libido decides to join the action more fully again. Which shouldn't take long. The serum has its advantages. Steve spreads his legs to let Bucky move comfortably between them and hears the sharp intake of breath from behind. He hides his grin in arms. 

The feeling is as exquisite as always. There is nothing he loves more about sex then when Bucky slides inside of him and makes himself at home. Steve sighs happily and wriggles a little. Hearing a gasp from behind makes him smile. Everything turned out alright. He's happy.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my WIP's for four years now. Added an ending of sorts and decided to just post.


End file.
